1. As I am preparing/wrapping the last bit of takeout, taking out the trash, and closing out the third party delivery service I find myself running all over the restaurant. It's very quiet and I'm working the front alone. It's 9:30. We close at 10:00.
I return to the front of the restaurant to a middle aged couple standing around off to the side. I asked if they were "all set." I couldn't tell if they were leaving after their meal, if they were waiting on take out, if they'd been helped by a server or manager, or if they were waiting for a table.
"Um no."
"So you'd like a table for 2?" I ask this for two reasons. One being I want to clarify that they are actually there for a sit down dinner (not take out, general inquisitions about the restaurant--people do that, to use the bathroom, or to pick up a lost and found item or credit card). And the second being I want to clarify the number of people in their party (are they waiting for another person/people? This would impact where I'd sit them).
"That's what we're not all set means." This wasn't said joking or in good spirits. This was condescending and rude.
So I did it, the unthinkable--I spoke back (GASP!). "That's what I was getting at originally, sir." I raised my eyebrows and and dead panned this. You, sir, are an asshole.
2. Two guys walk into the restaurant. There will be three total and they'd like to be seated now--no reservations. I take them to a nice table along the window. Upon being brought to the table they then tell me they wanted something more private (am I a mind reader? How would I have known this? And why couldn't they have mentioned this before I bring them to this table?).
"Okay, give me just a minute and let me see what else I have." So I return to the computer and other hostess to see if we have anything available. After finagling some reservations and shuffling some servers around we secure a private table for them away from people.
I take them to their table. "No I don't want that table--we'll take this table," gesturing to a table by the fireplace in the middle of multiple parties, "would your boyfriend sit you at that table?"
"Okay, this table should be fine for you," I respond. This is in no way what they have described wanting. They also knew I had to double check I didn't have reservations. So denying the second table was a pretty big F you to me.
But if that wasn't bad enough, the guy kept going! He stood there and demanded I respond, "I'll ask you again, would your boyfriend take you out and have you sit there?" I look at him confused. I believe it would be the hostess seating me at a table and not a boyfriend, right?
He continues to stand there looking at me waiting expectantly. It's none of your goddamn business, you prick. But I respond, I just can't keep my mouth shut, "I don't have a boyfriend, I can take myself out for food, and I'd sit at the table I was given." This apparently shocks him but his business partner bursts out laughing and says, "Good for you!"
3. Don't ever wave your finger at me. I am not a dog. I am not a child. I am not beneath you. And I don't care if you're a regular and you're old. It's rude. You don't like the table I'm taking you to? Use your words. Don't stop in the middle of the dining room and wave your index finger back and forth like I'm being disciplined.
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